Redefine Yourself To Open A New Chapter In Your Life

Here's What This Redefinition Means And How I Went Through It

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This week’s piece is a 8-min read.

Did you think I gave up on this newsletter?

Oh, hell no!

Yes, indeed, I haven’t published anything for over a month.

A lot of things happened during this month.

  • I quit my job,

  • I started a new job in my beloved industry of aviation & travel tech,

  • I ended the lease contract for my flat and

  • I went to Greece alone for 9 days to recharge, fully offline from social media & news.

And throughout these 30+ days, a good friend of mine accompanied me: the notion of redefining myself.

However, this notion did not suddenly appear in my life in the past month.

In fact, I realized that the past - almost - 12 months have been about redefining myself.

Scenery during my recharge in Greece (photo: me)

This redefinition started by questioning the current state of my life and identifying how much change I needed to feel closer to my true self.

A lot of questions arose during these past months:

  • Am I satisfied with the environment I currently live in? (Spoiler alert: no, I wasn’t)

  • Am I pursuing things that satisfy me and are true to myself? (Spoiler alert: no, I wasn't)

  • Am I attracting the right people who have appeared in my life lately? (Spoiler alert: no, I wasn’t)

  • Do most of my behaviors take me closer to the life I really want? (Spoiler alert: no, I didn’t)

And many dozen other questions that kept my brain busy, irritated, concerned, and frustrated but also made me enlightened, humble, and brave.

So in today’s piece, I want to talk about three things:

  1. What does it mean to redefine ourselves?

  2. My own journey to redefine myself

  3. How does this affect the future of this newsletter? (Because it does!)

1) What Does It Mean To Redefine Ourselves?

Pardon me, but I won’t quote any famous self-help books, philosophers, or people like Tony Robbins and whatnot.

At least not here.

You came to this newsletter to read my subjective view on things like intentional living so that’s what you’ll get.

In our lives, we have periods when we believe in certain axioms.

These axioms govern the actions we take toward career, love, and self.

And for a while, they serve their purpose well, they help us to - one way or another - take steps forward on our life’s path.

For people in their 20s, that’s how we choose a career, take up a quest to find love, and create memorable and fun moments with friends and ourselves.

It works. For a while.

Until we start realizing that something is not right.

Credits: Unsplash

We don’t feel that satisfaction in certain aspects of our lives. Through some painful moments, we also get closer to another layer of ourselves that catalyzes the notion of questioning what actually makes our life contended.

Some people then start changing careers at the age of 30 after questioning the corporate dogmas they’ve faced for years.

Some others make a hurtful realization that the people they surround themselves with don’t provide them with any emotional or intellectual value. They just drag those down.

These journeys of redefinition may even come on a much smaller scale.

For instance, when one recognizes how unhealthy they’ve been eating so they start focusing on nutritious eating habits and working out.

Or when one realizes that dating apps are a piece of garbage for finding love so they dare to go out to events and social gatherings to meet new people.

Overall, redefining ourselves is a vastly subjective concept.

Asking yourself critical but not self-destructive questions is the key.

Remember: the past actions that you start questioning took you to wherever you are right now which you should appreciate on one hand.

The fact that you can question whether you have habits that make you feel better, whether you live your days with content and surround yourself with people who bring valuable emotional and intellectual connection, shall be treasured by yourself.

2) My Own Journey To Redefining Myself

It all started after I came back to Hungary at the end of last Summer after spending a month working remotely from Greece.

It’s worth reading my first article in this newsletter that mentions my solo experience in Greece.

In Greece, I got closer to my true self and found an environment that was more peaceful but also supported my creative mind with positive vibes.

People were most friendly and laid back than what I got used to in Hungary.

Generally, I felt that I found a second home.

Coming back to Hungary and experiencing again the people’s frustration, the toxic shallowness of our youth, and overall, the devolved state of our society shocked me and dragged me down to a toxic mental state.

I immediately knew: though I love many parts of my country, I don’t want to spend most of my time here. Redefinition no. 1.

Throughout the month, I started feeling more and more anxious about my job.

I had a long period when I questioned whether I had the chemistry with the role and whether I could make good use of my skills.

And though I loved the people surrounding me at work, I felt more distant with the role I was in, as time went by.

I also started missing the aviation and travel industry I had previously worked in.

It was obvious that I needed a change. Redefinition no. 2.

During the months of spring, I went through ups and downs in my dating life that eventually ended up in loads of disappointments.

Those experiences enlightened me that I might not attract the right people in my life and also, I got stuck in certain schemas driven by my dating history and childhood that had their massive symptoms - such as overthinking.

Hence, I first started seeking a therapist that brought incredible revelations and in the end, it encouraged me to take a step back from the dating sphere.

These actions resulted in redefining my relationship with my own self while refining my behaviors and desires. Redefinition no. 3.

Somewhere in Fuerteventura during this redefining period (photo: my great friend)

While all these mentioned above occurred, I was contemplating my past years, the mistakes, irresponsible actions, and difficult quests I had.

A powerful notion manifested in me: through all these redefining moments, I was actually closing a 6-year-long chapter of my life and as I’m slowly turning to my 30s, I am about to begin a new one.

I was finally ready to put a final note on certain struggles, irresponsibilities, and identities I used to have.

I no longer felt like a desperate, anxious, and loose youngster in his 20s.

I started to feel like a young, confident, and determined man in his late-20s. (With some anxious elements, of course 😃)

Going through an intensive therapy session, discovering certain unconscious childhood imprints, and becoming more mindful about my actions caused by those traumas helped me as well, massively, in this transition.

Overall, I closed one life chapter - that I desperately wanted to close for a while - and opened another one. Redefinition no. 4.

And while all these aforementioned actions were taking place, I was desperate to build my “passion career” in writing - including this newsletter.

I wanted to become so unique through building a successful newsletter read by thousands of people every week and eventually making money from it - all this while giving advice on intentional living, pursuing your goals, etc.

But wait, what?

So many people do that already. One way or another.

How am I different?

I couldn’t answer this question for so long.

I just wanted to follow success stories to eventually create my own.

But recently, I read a quote that gave me the answer:

“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.”

Carl Jung (or Joseph Campbell, no clear citation was found but the internet has a debate about the source)

So freakin’ true.

This newsletter could not correspond my own personality well enough to attract more people.

I could not correspond my personality and thoughts as well as I wanted to.

And, I don’t want to follow a clear path ahead of me. I want to follow my own pathless path and eventually end up somewhere true to myself.

This is what I’m gonna do.

Redefinition no. 5.

3) How Does This Affect The Future Of This Newsletter?

I won’t stop writing The Mindful Guerilla.

More than ever, I believe in the importance of building an intentional life.

One that is true to yourself, not driven by all those loud social dogmas.

However, I don’t intend to push any boring advice to you. Especially not the ones I don’t deeply resonate with.

I am also changing the cadence of this newsletter.

Instead of publishing one piece every Wednesday - as I have tried to do until now -, I will bring one new issue biweekly. On Wednesdays.

I believe that this frequency will allow me to adapt to my current life stage and help me to ignite my creative flow much more than publishing weekly.

As mentioned above, I currently want to focus on other writing aspirations.

For my Hungarian readers, I have good news for you: soon, I will launch my new passion project that will manifest in the form of a Hungarian weekly newsletter. Stay tuned.

And for the non-Hungarian readers, don’t worry. I am still here.

Or as Jordan Belfort said:

Máté - The Mindful Guerilla

💡 My Recommendations 💡

🔥 Stuff I Recommend You This Week 🔥 

📹 Video: Have you heard about the US’ secret plan of invading Cuba? Neither have I, before I watched another banger video from Johnny Harris. While the invasion didn’t happen, the story of this secret planned operation is shocking. Watch it!

🗞️ Article: Benny Glick wrote an article with 43 prompts to contemplate shitloads of aspects of your life. It helped me in my redefining journey so I’m sure it will enlighten you as well.

📖 Book: Oriana Fallaci was an badass Italian journalist and writer. Her book “If the Sun Dies” covers the mid-1960s when the American was working hard pursuing JFK’s dream to land the first human on the Moon. The book covers interviews with astronauts, meditations on the human race and whether such exploration is vital or not.

See you in two weeks! 👋🏻

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