It's Okay Not To Feel Okay

Hey everyone, as you might have noticed, there was no post from me last week. And this week's article will describe the reason behind the one-week absence.

This week's piece explains a recent and ongoing mental health situation I have been in; therefore, its lessons are freshly baked.

In the past two weeks, I have been talking with some great people I know who have been in similar shoes recently, so I hope this article could bring some tangible value to many of you who feel similarly as I do.

Because one thing is sure: you are not alone in whatever you are going through!

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Now, let's jump into this week's topic and discuss why it's okay not to feel okay.

If you follow the news or are just aware of the current global issues, you know that the global economy is not in the best shape right now.

But this is temporary. The world has been through this before, many times.

As an indicator, take a look at the chart of the S&P 500 Index for the past 100 years.

As you see, this index has had quite a few downs throughout the past 100 years; however, the overall trend is steady growth.

But let's zoom in more and look at the past cca. 15 years:

The first, more significant crash occurred during the 2007-08 financial crisis, while the second minor correction happened during the Coronavirus crash in 2020.

In both cases, you see that if we look at the 15-year timeframe, the overall trend of the S&P 500 is positive, despite those corrections or crashes.

I brought up an example because we can apply the same perspective to our lives.

We might (or most certainly) have periods in our life when we feel anxious, unhappy, demotivated, or have any other negative emotions & feelings. But our overall life still has a steady positive trend - to indicate this trend, let's invent an imaginary indicator and call it the State of Mind Indicator.

But before we move on with this, let me bring my example & experience from the past almost two weeks.

Two weeks ago, as the weekend was coming, I started to feel anxious about life in general.

While all the reasons behind my anxiety were not clear to me, I started feeling frustrated about my everyday life - about all the obligations, the rushed commute to the office and then to the gym in the afternoon, getting back home later in the evening, and having only an hour or max two for dinner, chores, etc. before I needed to go to bed.

I felt that I could not control my days and my time.

I also felt that most of the daily & weekly habits I built during and before the summer were mostly gone.

In the meantime, while I stopped reading all the junky daily news outlets and news in general, I still got all the information about the uncertainty and concerns about the upcoming tough winter with the energy crisis and the current inflation surge.

This also started to cause me additional worry.

The following Monday was even a bigger rush than any day before - getting stuck in traffic on the bus, having to do online meetings on the run, etc. Not the best way to start the week, which also negatively contributed to my overall well-being.

During meetings, I felt that I could not concentrate at all, my anxiety was taking over the lead, and I even got hit by panic attacks during certain meetings as we discussed certain upcoming processes or more complex action items.

The first three days of the week went like this. Even if I was feeling worse, I came to one important realization: it's okay not to feel okay. Life is like that.

Once I accepted this, I could start working on turning my "State of Mind Indicator" correction around. I'm saying "correction" as I believe these bottoms happen in our life to indicate that we are doing something wrong - or something in a different direction than we should.

First, I took advantage of the thermal spa I have close to my home and spent 2 hours of relaxation there one evening. I have already started to feel some slight improvement. That relaxation made me realize that even though I was working on my physical well-being - working out and watching my nutrition intake - I did not really look after my mental well-being.

But I knew I needed to do more immediate actions: I had to stop everything for a few days to concentrate solely on myself.

I took two days of sick leave - something I am grateful to my boss and the company for having such an option without any significant reasoning and administrative burden.

And even though I did not have complete control of those sick days due to some other personal issues, at least I could spend those days doing the things I knew would help steer me back towards the path of harmony.

Journaling, meditating, reading, walking, and all the other relaxing activities allowed me to dump all the thoughts, worries and anxieties from my brain that had aggregated in the past weeks and beyond.

Those activities definitely helped a lot to identify some of the various sources that led to this correction - as I was clearing my mind and thinking back on what went wrong in the previous times, I came to more & more realizations.

And combining this with extensive journaling became the perfect setup to take actions that would eventually turn me into a positive trend and put me back on track again.

Like most index fund investors, I also approach this from a long-term perspective. I accept that despite my actions, things will only progress slowly, and specific measures will be effective only in the medium- and long run.

But at least I can follow my own framework to achieve this:

1. Clear the Mind

2. Analyze the Issues

3. Identify the Causes

4. Take Actions

This framework can always be repetitive, as we all regularly need to clear our minds, analyze the current issues or challenges, and take action based on the identified causes.

I am currently in the progress of taking action, taking back some previous & effective healthy habits and building some new ones. But this takes time. Most days are still in a rush, and I need to be more disciplined in saying "no".

What can you take with you from my experience?

• Our state of mind is similar to any market indicator - it has its ups & downs. Accept that.

• If you do accept it, also be comfortable with the fact that it's okay to be not okay. We all have those days; take those as a warning sign that you need to change certain habits, patterns, and behaviors. It won't be prompt but will be valuable.

• Take self-care seriously & spoil yourself! Most of us live in fast-paced life with long days. But no matter how fast our days go by, we all need at least 20-30 minutes daily for ourselves. Do whatever it takes to have that "me-time". Of course, the more, the better. Do whatever you love & things that give you great joy and tranquility. Read that book, take a warm bath, sit with a coffee, doodle, play a video game, or dance to some shitty music.

• Don't be afraid to stop everything & say no to people, events, and most obligations. While we all have essential commitments in our life, there won't be an armageddon if you stop everything for a day or two.

• And also, don't embrace your FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). If you don't have the mental capacity to meet friends or others, don't do it just out of the fear that they won't invite you next time. If they are valued people, this won't happen! Remember: nothing is more important than your mental and physical health!

• Do whatever it takes to clear your mind from all your thoughts: the best method is to write it all down for yourself. Once it's done, try to identify all your anxiety sources to understand why you have this down period. These all help to then take action to get back on track.

I have much more to say about this topic, but it's getting out of hand now. :) Let's save some for next time.

Some great people told me that this newsletter seems like a self-journal - and that's absolutely true. Just because I could write this out of me and share it with you all helps me immensely.

And also, it's important to emphasize that my tips & advice are solely based on personal experience and do not substitute for any professional help you might need. I sincerely recommend reaching out to a psychologist who can support your self-growth with a professional approach. I did that, and it changed me considerably.

Máté - TMBNC

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