Lose Your Ego At The Next Obstacle

Hey everyone, this week's issue will also feature a more sport/self/philosophy/spirituality-oriented topic. And if you guessed that it would be around a Spartan race, you hit the jackpot!

So if you have already heard all the bits & pieces about my latest Spartan race experience or are just enough of this topic, then scroll to the bottom for some of this week's recommendations.

If you still wanna know the core message of this post, here's a TL;DR:

Please disregard that this post won't be as nicely structured and polished as I aim for my usual ones.

Otherwise, let's kick this off.

But wait, before you go, please make sure to subscribe, so you get all my new posts directly in your inbox. Click the button below. 

Last Sunday, I was about to do my Spartan Super 10K obstacle course race that I had been training for the previous months. 

But I didn't do that. 

On Friday evening, while sipping a beer with my friends, my trainer friend and I were provoking my mind that I should do the Spartan Beast 21K* the following morning. After some fear, overthinking, and hesitation, I eventually caved in.

*a race that turned out to be 22 km with 32 obstacles and 800+ m elevation gain. Check out this video to get a glimpse of what it was like. Of course, the guy who recorded this was so much better than me, but hey, I was a Beast-virgin before.

10 hours later, I was at the start. And below, you can observe my face with all the apparent feelings it corresponded. 

The first few kilometers were relatively uneventful - if you can say that for such a race. Obstacles after obstacles, jumping over walls and hurdles. 

Race. I don't even like to call it a race. I am not racing against others (at least for now), just against myself. Against the self I was weeks, months, and a year ago. Against the self I was at my previous Spartan race.

On the first 6 kilometers, I already had some failures at obstacles. That meant 30 burpees as a punishment for every failed obstacle. 

Then the next 10 kilometers were a pretty nice journey—trail running through the forest with some nice elevation, mixed with a few deeper mud paths. I reached the state of flow and that 10K gave me an excellent time to contemplate how I got to that race, why I am doing that and why I need to leave my ego behind. 

Ego. It's just like that douchebag guy in high school who wants you to smoke and drink in excess; otherwise, you won't be cool.

Ego is always knocking on the door of your mind and sometimes it even breaks the door, just like the FBI during a raid at a conspiracy theorist's ranch.

As I was running among other people, my ego tried to get attention with some unnecessary questions:

It took me some minutes to let these and more questions pass my brain and, eventually, leave the ego at the earliest convenience. As I realized that this was my own race to finish a race that I wasn't even planning to do 12 hours before. I also realized that everyone has their own journey and comparison has no role in my race. So why bother? 

As soon as I let it go, peace of mind appeared. 

People doing such obstacle course races or even regular runs always get the question: why are you doing it? What are you searching for? 

These questions also popped into my mind during that 10 km flow state.

Some say that the more you run, the more you want to know why you run. 

I say that I run and race to get to know myself better and get closer to a better self. 

And what better way to get closer to a better self than the pain you get on such a 21K race. There's nothing romantic in that when you are on the race and feel another blister appears on your foot or have leg cramps. It's just a fucking pain at that moment. 

Of course, you get all romantic and emotional after the race - even after days - and instead of feeling that fucking pain of the blisters and the cramps, you only feel that you want to get back to the track and do the race again. You have similar daydreaming as you think after your holidays. 

All because you feel that you are going through another phase of growth through the pain and achievement of finishing that race.

But seriously, how freaking weird is it to ponder over such a tough few hours with positive emotion in your soul?! 

Especially if I think about the last 6 kilometers of the race. The most challenging part of it all. With 16 more obstacles ahead of me and some massive elevation gains, nothing was joyful in that. But still, thinking back to that, I know I want to do it again—several times.

Let's not fool ourselves; it's not all about the pain and growth you get through these races. That massive dose of a drug called accomplishment is also why we go to the start line.

If someone does this to show off their accomplishment to others on social media, then they are definitely in the wrong place. Of course, it's a good feeling to share your joy with people who follow you, but if you do it for the show-off, you are again doing it for the ego. 

But for most of us, it's about another dose of accomplishment drug - among others. I wouldn't call it an addiction as it's nothing like that momentary euphoria of all the harmful addiction. 

Still, this growthful euphoria doesn't last too long. You cross the finish line, release all your tensions and pain you felt during the race, your hormones are at the peak, you get the medal, and if you are fortunate enough, your friends and loved ones are there to share that joy with you.

And then it's sort of gone. 

Yes, you still feel it minutes, hours, and days after crossing the finish line. But you start longing for that evanescent moment.

And that's a strong reason we are returning to do more of these races. 

It was only my second Spartan race, but I already know that dozens more are ahead of me. 

For the race, pain, growth, accomplishment - and even more. Because I continuously want to get closer to a better self and find answers to the questions I haven't even asked.

💡 My Weekly Recommendations 💡

Some Pieces I Recommend You This Week

• Münecat did a great video on "hustle culture" and one of its greatest "pastor", Gary Vee. I truly recommend it for anyone in their 20s (or 30s) who believe that life is all about "hustle & grind".

• Did you know that 31 years translates into a billion seconds? Graham Duncan introduced the phrase of "time billionaire" which describes someone young enough to have a billionaire or more of seconds left in their life. Read about the power of time over money - and why time is one of the greatest wealth.

• Tim Urban's amazing long-form article on why we procrastinate. It's one of the most "infotaining" pieces of writing on this topic that I have read a couple of times. Tim also has an awesome TED talk on procrastination - featuring the Instant Gratification Monkey. :)

Newsletters I Read Every Week

• Young Money - Jack writes inspirational & insightful posts on finance, career, and life. I learned a lot from his work, and was also a great motivation for me to start my own newsletter. 10/10 recommended!

• International Intrigue - A valuable newsletter on diplomacy & geopolitics delivered every weekday. Rather read this than all those shitty clickbait articles on mainstream media.

• Exec Sum - A daily newsletter on the major stories from the financial world. It's fun, entertaining, and informative. Better than those finance outlets with shitloads of ads.

• Snail Mail by Slow Growth - a weekly newsletter delivered every Monday by Matt D'Avella's team with great motivational content on productivity. It's not the usual productivity bullshit that you find everywhere else.

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