Life Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint

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You are sitting at home scrolling through Instagram and seeing all your friends' latest happy posts and stories.

This one is in the Maldives while you are freezing outside. That one just got engaged while you are still single. The other one got featured in Forbes 30 Under 30 while you are stuck in a 9-5 job you hate.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Or perhaps something else would resonate more.

Nevertheless, we can all feel similar when browsing social media platforms. And unintentionally, we start questioning our own life path.

"Why am I behind in my life?"

This was a question I also asked myself at the age of 26, during the COVID lockdowns, when I experienced the worst (yet) mental breakdown in my life. 

So I sought the help of a therapist.

We identified that one of the root causes of my mental breakdown was that I felt behind in my life, had goals that were not part of my self-identity, and made an unhealthy comparisons to others.

I wanted to be featured on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list. Why? To feed my ego and my justification for success. But I didn't consider deep dive into what that "accomplishment" would truly take. And since I didn't feel I was moving toward this goal, I felt behind in life.

But the truth was, my deep self-identity was not seeking this goal. It was foreign to me.

I also made an unhealthy comparison to my 15-year-older brother and his successful life, and I wanted to live the way he did - without the long and bumpy ride - he took for that success.

The realization that, unintentionally, I was living someone else's life was shocking. Still, it helped me to start defining what my self-identity wants from this life; therefore, after months of self-work, I could clarify my principles and aspirations.

The Reasons Why You Might Feel Behind In Life

1) The Pressure To Conform To Societal Expectations

We are usually expected to follow a particular life path: going to university, landing a great job, and settling down with a family. All before you turn 30 and in this order, just like a checklist with sequential tasks to complete.

Pilots preparing an aircraft to take off must follow a strict checklist to ensure they complete all tasks before the plane leaves the runway. If they miss something or do it in the wrong order, they might crash the plane, and all will die.

But life is nothing like that. It's not a fixed checklist where you tick specific tasks in a pre-defined order. 

Because we all have different life paths, with different upbringings and opportunities. We have different learning curves along the journey. Alongside these, people also have goals and aspirations that usually differ from others.

This, of course, as with all the other reasons below, may result in massive anxiety as one can experience judgment and criticism from people surrounding them if they decide to take a path different from social convention.

2) The Constant Urge For Comparison

Peer comparison is rising as we spend much more time on platforms like Facebook or Instagram. We see the perfectly curated stories of others' lives, so we may feel the need to measure up to our peers and fall behind.

But we must remember something: what people post on social media does not tell the full story. 

While we might see a photo of their happy relationship, we don't know their daily struggles, uncertainties, and true feelings.

Also, if we see a happy traveler, we cannot see behind the scenes, and they might feel lonely or be trying to escape from a reality they cannot resolve.

And the same with someone on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list. Yes, they could consider that a success, but we are not aware of the daily pressure, stress, and tendency toward burnout they might be going through. 

In recent years, we have seen a lot of youngsters having quick success with trends of crypto, meme stocks, or NFTs. Many of us - including myself - could have felt that if they could do it, why couldn't we?!

It created additional anxiety and urged others, resulting in jumping on that ship.

A sinking ship. While their quick shine might have looked great, many of those "Lambo dudes" lost their quick win quite rapidly.

Why? 

Astronaut Chris Hadfield will tell you all:

3) The Economic Uncertainties

While the past decade was mainly defined by economic prosperity, the 2020s began with a different angle. The COVID-crisis and its aftermath with the price surges, energy crisis, and the ongoing unstable global politics significantly changed the outlook for many people. 

Housing is getting less affordable, and big corporations are laying off more and more people, while the money we earn is worth less due to the massive inflation that hit all nations.

This current economic climate makes young people think that their progress is slowing down and giving them a more significant challenge to achieve financial stability. 

Since the results in more challenging future planning, greater anxiety appears among youngsters. Some might also be affected by the corporate layoffs that hinder their progress, so they feel they are not progressing as they desire.

But that does not mean that they are behind in life - it challenges them to seek alternative and even better opportunities that they indeed have on their life path.

So what can we do to break this anxious feeling of being behind in life?

Here are 3 tips that could guide you toward a more mindful life to defeat your anxiety and illusion and give you a perspective on your own life.

How To Take Actions If You Feel Behind In Life

1) Focus On Your Own Goals And Aspirations

Remember that everyone's path is unique, and it's okay to move at your own pace. It's easy to compare yourself to others and feel like you're falling behind, but it's important to focus on your own journey and goals.

Define what success means to you and what priorities you deeply want in life. This allows you to set goals and benchmarks to stay focused and motivated. Therefore, you can prevent yourself from comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate or that you might not be measuring up.

Defining and focusing on your goals and success benchmarks also means that you can control what you want to achieve and how you want to measure your progress.

Being on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list is nice, but does that truly give you the value and satisfaction that is worth all it takes? It might be the case for you; however, in most cases, this does not mean that you could feel that deep fulfillment in yourself.

Remember: others' standards should not define your life. You are the only one who profoundly knows your true self.

2) Be More Present And Mindful Of Your Current Life Path

Taking time to appreciate the great things you already have in your life and being more present can help you feel more fulfilled and content. This can help to alleviate feelings of stress and anxiety and can make it easier to avoid feeling like you are falling behind.

It's natural to have self-doubt or worry, but reminding yourself of the good things in your life and your progress can help keep things in perspective.

While working on your goals and stepping up the ladder you defined for yourself, make sure you take time for self-care and activities that help you switch off and recharge. Remember, you must not be addicted to productivity and should take a break from time to time from grinding toward your goals.

Working out, spending time with your loved ones, and dedicating time to hobbies are all activities that make you feel more content and give you the mindfulness you need to avoid being in the constant rat race.

Leave the "hustle & grind" mindset to Elon Musk, Mark Cuban, and the AI robots coming in the following years to take over some of the monotonous daily jobs.

3) Control Your Online Media Consumption

One of the most significant sources of our anxiety is social media, as we see those content that creates a fake image of success in us.

And that is a paradox: we spend shitloads of time on those social media platforms to feed our dopamine needs, and this leads to consuming content that eventually just makes us more anxious about our own life path and loads us with self-doubt.

So is it really worth it?

Go and check your screen time on your phone and be shocked at how much time you spend on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok.

You may want to cut that consumption entirely. However, it might not be what you really want.

To be fair, you can consume valuable content on some platforms, e.g., language tips, recipes, etc.

But as the Delphic maxim says: "nothing in excess."

Apply this principle to your social media consumption.

And with the time you can save on that excessive digital consumption, you can do more fulfilling things:

• Reading a book

• Going for a walk

• Just cleaning your mind from the constant dopamine addiction

Late(r) Success Is Inspiring

And if these are not enough, I brought you a few examples of success stories of people who achieved their own success later in life.

Julia Child didn't start her culinary career until she was in her 40s, after moving to France and falling in love with French cuisine. She became a celebrated chef, author, and television personality, known for introducing French cooking to American audiences.

Henry Ford built his first successful car, the Model T, at 45. He founded the Ford Motor Company and revolutionized the automobile industry with his innovations in mass production and assembly line techniques.

Vera Wang didn't start her fashion career until she was 40, after working in other industries for many years. She became one of the world's most successful and celebrated fashion designers, known for her bridal and evening wear collections.

Do you need any more examples for inspiration?

Of course not. Stop seeking more inspiration.

Go, take action and enjoy your current life.

Máté - The Mindful Guerilla

💡 My Weekly Recommendations 💡

Stuff I Recommend You This Week

• If you want to get smarter every day in various fields of interest, sign up to Refind and let the algorithm send you 5 valuable links every day, curated from 10k+ sources.

• Have you ever wondered why it feels like everything in today's life changed massively from 10-20 years ago? Stephen Antonioni has a great video on this.

• Tim Denning shared an awesome article on why to f@ck the "hustle culture" and what things we should celebrate instead.

Newsletters I Read Every Week

• Young Money - Jack writes inspirational & insightful posts on finance, career, and life. I learned a lot from his work, which was also a great motivation for me to start my own newsletter. 10/10 recommended!

• International Intrigue - A valuable newsletter on diplomacy & geopolitics delivered every weekday. Rather read this than all those shitty clickbait articles on mainstream media.

• Exec Sum - A daily newsletter on the major stories from the financial world. It's fun, entertaining, and informative. Better than those finance outlets with shitloads of ads.

• Snail Mail by Slow Growth - a weekly newsletter delivered every Monday by Matt D'Avella's team with great motivational content on productivity. It's not the usual productivity bullshit that you find everywhere else.

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