Let Me Present To You: The Present

Hey everyone, another Wednesday article is here - even though I struggled to edit this one and hit that "Publish now" button, I am proud that I did it again for the sake of consistency, as written in the previous post.

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And now let's go to today's topic.

Imagine that you wake up in the morning, and while sipping that first coffee, you are thinking about the day ahead of you.

All the meetings you don't want to attend, the anxiety they will most certainly generate. You remind yourself of all the top priority tasks you must finish. You think about the afternoon when you will have to rush to your gym class and then you will get home late.

Only a few minutes have passed since you started drinking your first coffee in the morning, but you are already anxious as hell.

What you did was dwell on the future, and you wasted those minutes of allowing yourself to enjoy the present moment.

I am sure you can recall dozens of similar scenarios when you dwell on the past, things you have done and wish you had done differently.

Sounds familiar?

If so, we certainly understand each other.

I used to be the person who spent most of my time and brainpower dwelling on past events and contemplating future scenarios.

In my teenage years, I started to dream about my future career, and I could not wait to turn 18 and become an adult.

Back when I was 14-15, I started dreaming about becoming an aerospace physician so I could research human spaceflight missions on the human body and eventually end up on such a spaceflight to outer space.

I had regular dreams about being strapped into the seat of a spacecraft and launching into space. I could say I was quite determined to pursue this goal.

However, life happened, and I realized that I sucked at chemistry and biology - two crucial subjects I would've needed to get into medical school.

Also, I had other impactful moments in my life which turned me more towards my then-passion: politics. Thus, I started dreaming about stepping into this field and eventually running my home country as a Prime Minister.

This is how I entered my university years. While I was doing a handful of great activities - student clubs, social gatherings, receptions, etc. -, instead of focusing on the momentary experiences and feelings, my mind was always far-far away, years if not decades ahead.

Thinking about myself as a successful person with fame, recognition, and power to influence the way our country goes forward.

Most of my time in my early 20s was about me dwelling on my future. In a way, I wasted valuable time mentally being in an uncertain future full of illusions.

Ambitions changed, but one thing did not: I could not get out of my own trap of constantly being in the future in my mind.

There's a quote in my favorite TV show, The Office, by a character named Andy Bernard, which perfectly illustrates how that constant dwelling on the future could cause you some painful realizations in a future moment.

While I - fortunately - never had that feeling the way Andy felt about wasting time in the good old days but seeing this scene dozens of times also made me realize that if I spend too much time either in the past or the future, I could end up wasting my "good old days" while actually living them.

After having my major mental breakdown, this realization escalated to a re-evaluation of my approach toward the past and the future.

I also didn't feel a deep sense of happiness by the constant stress of my uncertain future; therefore, I knew that I needed to make a change to help my mental health climb to a level of harmony and fulfillment.

As I am writing these words, even if I am pondering on the past, I can maintain it on a healthy level, and it does not oppress my mind as it used to. I enjoy my time in Athens, sipping that Greek wine and observing the people around me. (already back in Budapest by the time this went live)

What Did I Learn About Dwelling On The Past & Future? How Am I Trying Differently?

This carpe diem moment also helped me to understand the lessons I learned and have been trying to apply in my life to seek more harmony and less worry about the past & future:

1. The past has already happened, and you cannot change that. You can certainly learn from it and apply the lessons for your present and future. But constantly dwelling on the past makes you no good and gives you no real value.

2. The future is something ahead of you, and with your present actions, you can certainly affect it. But if you are constantly letting your mind wonder about future scenarios, you are missing out on all the present moments in your life. You will always rush to reach something in the future, but even if you get it, you won't be satisfied as you will look ahead to something else in the future. Therefore, even if you arrive somewhere, you will never be properly there.

3. Being in the present makes you feel that time slows down. Our time is limited, and we cannot amend the horizontal line of our lifetime. The only thing we can do is to deepen our time vertically by being more in the present.

The last point is especially the one that inspires me the most - to make the most out of the present times.

Having that 10-minute sip of my morning coffee and just watching the surroundings through the window or on the balcony enables me to slow down and get loaded with energy for the day.

If you visit a lake, river, or sea and you focus on the sound and picture of the waves, the seagulls flying above you, it could take you to that state of mindfulness as a proper and traditional meditation would do.

I tried many times, but due to my attention deficit disorder, I could more easily do my own way of meditation just by observing the things around me with open eyes and in whatever position I felt good at that moment.

So What Do I Want As A Takeaway From This Post?

As most of you must be in the same shoes while dwelling on the past & future, I know that you are all determined to be more in the present. To live more for today, so to say.

As with all other personal development matters, you must accept that it takes time.

Start with minor things like giving yourself just 5 minutes in the mornings to enjoy that first drink of the day - coffee, tea, orange juice, or whatever is your thing. Rather than already stressing about the upcoming day, just look around your environment and see what's happening at that moment.

As you will be consistent with these minor "meditative" slow moments, you will be able to keep your focus for a longer time in the present and to know when you should allocate your mental resources for contemplating the future or dwelling ( = re-evaluating) your past.

We all know that once we will die. Sooner or later. So why should we just waste our valuable time thinking about a future scenario that will be actually closer to our death, no matter how great that scenario is?

Regardless of where you are in your life, there are always things, people, and moments to appreciate. Practice gratitude to stay in the present even more.

Writing a gratitude journal every morning and evening with 3 things to be grateful about is something that works for some people. I tried that & couldn't stay consistent. Maybe it's something you can try & keep as a healthy habit.

No matter what you try to do, the essential notion is that the more time you can spend physically and mentally in the present moment, the less rushed you will feel, and the more you will value & respect your own time on this planet.

In the end, you don't want to lay on your deathbed and wish that you had spent less time on future worries that brought you closer to that moment on the deathbed.

What is working for you to be in the present more? How did you "hack the system"? Share it with me!

Máté - TMBNC

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