My Honest Experience With (In)consistency

Hey everyone, apologies for being a day late with my new post. It's been some chaotic times this week, and I decided to change the topic of my article due to this delay.

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And now let's go to today's topic.

When I published my first article on this platform, I promised myself to share one post every Wednesday.

In the past weeks, it was pretty easy; I had the deadline in my head and managed to finish and publish something meaningful by then.

This week, it started more difficult. On Sunday evening, I started working on one article. On Tuesday evening, while I was trying to finish the article, I felt no energy or creativity.

So instead, I went to bed with the determination that no matter what, I would post one quality article on Wednesday as well.

That determination also arose from a warning sign that popped up in my head:

And this is true.

But still, it did not happen. Yesterday was a crazily chaotic day for me. The morning started difficult, and I had no time to finish the other article.

Then I decided to write about consistency instead.

Consistency Has Been One Of My Biggest Nemeses. Or I Should Say I Was The Greatest Enemy Of My Relationship With Consistency.

These past years, I failed to be consistent in the various things I was getting into. Of course, some things had to be dropped (like my university studies in London - I will write about that in another article).

However, there were many things I got excited about, initially putting the work into it, and even if I sometimes saw some glimpse of accomplishment and success, I still gave up.

This was the case with an English-language aviation news site I started a few years ago that lasted only a few months. Or the student mentoring business I did for Hungarians applying for UK university studies.

Or even with my previous attempts of losing weight and getting fit. I started dieting and working out on my own, but I gave up after a few weeks or months. And even when I succeeded with the weight loss, I was not consistent enough to maintain that result.

When I look back at all my failed projects, I could identify one typical pattern in all of them: my impatience for success. I wanted to have an audience of thousands of people immediately. I wanted to get paid for those projects immediately. I let my naive mindset drive impatience and hinder the steady building of the particular project.

Years went by with this mindset.

Then something started to change in 2021 when I had my half-year psychology therapy. My therapist and I were talking about my approach to success, and we identified that I have success anxiety. My desperation for success was so immense that it blocked me from working consistently on something which could bring me closer to success.

(My past and present approach to success is worth another article; you can expect that in the upcoming weeks.)

As we were going deeper around success anxiety, I came across several reasons why I couldn't stay consistent with projects:

1. Impatience, as mentioned above

2. Comparison with others

3. Illusion of success

So I started approaching these from a different angle.

I came to peace with time and progress. I acknowledged the current phase of my life, the achievements so far, and the exciting times ahead of me. I admitted that I'm still only in my late-20s with plenty of time ahead of me, so I shall not rush but be more in the present.

When comparing myself to others, the more I developed my self-esteem, the less I started to care about where others are in their life and how I could compare my path with them.

I didn't want to be someone in their 20s on the cover of magazines or having those TV appearances. And I certainly did not want to be (already) a 40-something dude with shitloads of money. I started wanting to be who I am now—being more in the present.

Speaking of magazine covers, that was one of the greatest signs of my illusion of success. I imagined myself being featured in the Forbes 30 Under 30 list and was determined to achieve that before I turned to my XXX. Now, at 28, I couldn't care less about it.

So How Did I Use These Lessons To Become More Consistent?

When it comes to my physical fitness & health, I ditched my impatience. Instead of focusing on short-term fixes, I peacefully accepted that it would be a long way down the road with the potential of a long-lasting solution.

In the Fall of 2021, I started to consistently do strength training with a good friend, who is also a personal trainer. With his support, I never lost sight of my goal despite some hiccups. And as a result of that consistency, I managed to finish my first Spartan Race in April 2022 - something I could never imagine doing - and I am currently preparing for my next Spartan Race.

Of course, I still have a lot of work with my body, but I already feel I am on the right track. My goal is not some short-term fix but to be in better shape in my 30s-40s than I have ever been in my 20s.

I applied the same tactic when it came to side projects. I don't care about short-term achievements and am no longer in an illusion. It also applies to this newsletter - and the one I will start within the next two weeks about space stories.

I know it will take a great deal of time to build an audience and monetize these newsletters - which is explicitly my goal - but that's okay. I am in no rush. I am just enjoying the process, the experiment of sharing different stories, and seeing the feedback.

Another way to support my consistency is accountability.

A few days ago, while talking to my mom on the phone, she mentioned that every Wednesday, she's excited when she gets my new post in her email inbox - the same way she's waiting for her favorite magazine to be released on that day.

This shows that I have to be accountable and not let at least one person down if I skip the weekly post on this platform. So now, I have to tell you, Mom, that I'm sorry you received this with a day of delay but hope that's alright. :)

What Can You Learn From My Experience With (In)consistency?

Well, you tell me! The way we all perceive specific lessons and learning curves is subjective, and there is no one standard way of learning. Think about your experience with consistency, impatience, and the illusion of success.

Is there anything that blocks you from being consistent and thus working towards your goals? Is that blocker your mindset itself?

Then make a change. No matter how cliché that sounds. Fuck the excuses.

Máté - TMBNC

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