5 Thoughts On Comfort & Discomfort

Hey everyone, this week's piece came 2 days later than I wanted to. Life happened, most of my awake hours were packed, and I prioritize my sleep over other things. Hope you understand! :)

And I also hope it was worth the wait. This article also ended up longer than expected. But it takes roughly 7 minutes to read it. Not much at all.

This week, I am sharing my thoughts on the positive & negative sides of both comfort and discomfort. What types of comfort and discomfort are worth embracing? And why should be selective about others' advice on discomfort?

Let's jump right in!

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These days, the term "comfort" is regularly demonized as a condition that slowly kills us, keeps us in mediocrity, and holds our growth back.

Some ideas against comfort are valid and worth considering. But many are delusory and fruitless and have no greater value besides being a trend online.

Like many of us, I also have a love-and-hate relationship between comfort and discomfort. While I always had some attraction to discomfort, however, the comfort zone used to be - clearly - more attractive.

Also, I tended to approach discomfort from a vastly unhealthy perspective.

So today, I'm bringing you five thoughts on comfort and discomfort.

Nothing more, just five thoughts.

1) Discomfort = Growth

There is a well-known illustration, called the Comfort Zone Map, of what leaving the comfort zone means and what steps lie ahead before entering the growth zone.

Growth seldom happens without going out of your comfort zone. And this map perfectly shows the path from the comfort zone to the growth zone.

Let's demonstrate this through a personal example - something I have already shared in this newsletter couple of times: my workout & sports journey in the past years that resulted in me doing a Spartan Race and going beyond.

I experienced my - unhealthy - comfort zone while working in the Czech Republic and frequently traveling to different parts of the world for business. Conferences or meetings, business dinners with steaks and fancy cocktails - all those trips were around these things.

Pure comfort zone - in fact, sweet hedonism.

Until I gained tangible fat. Then I entered the Fear Zone. I always had excuses for not doing any physical activity - I was afraid that I might get injured since I didn't know how to train correctly. I didn't run because it was too cold.

People were noticing my weight gain and dropped a brick on that. It hurt me.

It took a while to move from Fear Zone to Learning Zone. I cannot mention one particular action that helped me escape my Fear Zone. I believe that time had to pass, and pain had to happen to push myself to the next phase.

I started taking care of myself, focusing on my physical well-being and fitness level, and I am still in the process today. However, I'm confident that I have already crossed the border to Growth Zone. Still a long way down the road to where I want to be, but I can now focus on setting new goals while finding and knowing the purpose of my actions.

In other regards of my life, I am still at different stages of that Comfort Zone Map.

Because I am a human being. Not perfect, but improving.

2) Some Types of Discomfort Is Meaningless

We all see the tragedy of war that's happening in Ukraine. People lost their homes and had to escape from their comfort and their homeland. Many live in constant fear that a Russian rocket will destroy their homes in a second. Or that Russian soldiers will occupy their town and they will lose their freedom.

What is this, if not discomfort?! But is that discomfort growthful and valuable?

We can argue that any discomfort may lead to growth and strength in the end. This could be true, I tend to agree with that.

But people in the 21st century, especially in the European civilization, shall not experience this.

This type of discomfort is fucking meaningless.

We can also consider certain aspects of physical training an unnecessary type of discomfort.

If you started running recently and still have mainly 5K runs, it might not be the best idea to jump into a marathon already. Your body is probably not prepared for the physical load of 42.2 km.

You might be able to finish such a distance, but you also risk some massive injury in your body that will hinder your process of physical growth.

Yes, that's a crazy level of discomfort that could give you extensive growth, accomplishment, and self-confidence. But why pursue that rushed gratification instead of long-term and steady growth?

Being a beginner 5K runner and doing a marathon without the proper steady improvement is an unnecessary type of discomfort.

Taking a slow(er) and steady improvement path - going from 5K to 10K, from 10K to 15K, from 15K to a half-marathon, etc. - is much more rewarding in the long-run. For your physical and mental health as well.

3) Some Types of Comfort Is Necessary

Yes, an excessive amount of Netflix binge-watching while eating a large Double Whopper and a Nacho is terrible for you, but it doesn't mean that you should not allow yourself to chill on your couch, eat dinner or snack, and watch a movie sometimes. This does not kill you for sure.

Just keep in mind what the Ancient Greeks say about this:

If that activity (or, rather say, "passivity") can give you some joy, do it sometimes. As many other activities can be harmful in excess but comforting in moderation.

That's certainly one side of comfort we sometimes need.

However, we also need to focus on creating a physical and/or mental space where we can return at certain times to clear our heads from all the daily obligations, recharge ourselves and slow down a little.

Where we can feel that no matter how challenging moments we have - at work, during our workout, with relationships, etc. -, there is always time and space for us to pamper ourselves. Where we can spoil ourselves with things that healthily add to us.

We need that.

Because we are all human beings and not robots.

What can such comfort space consist of?

• Making a cup of coffee or tea and sitting down for 10 minutes alone (or with a friend, significant other, etc., if you feel more comfortable with them)

• Taking a warm & long bath in the evening

• Reading your favorite magazine or book on your couch

• Laying on the couch with some music on and doing absolutely nothing - or taking a nap (yeah, why not?!)

• Going for a self-care - massage, thermal spa, etc.

• Sunbathing - if the weather allows that

• Going to a café to drink your signature coffee

However, this is a subjective matter. You might have different things, activities, or places that you consider your healthy comfort space. Embrace that!

4) Comfort Is Not Always Comfortable

As mentioned above, Netflix binge-watching and eating junk food in moderation is fine. In excess, it is terrible for you.

Especially if you would rather do that, instead of going out for a walk or a run, hitting the gym, or doing any other physical activity.

It always feels more comfortable to chill on the couch than go out to do some workout.

If you choose comfort over that physical activity every day, on the micro level, you will only feel the comfort of your choice.

However, on the macro level, it will get pretty uncomfortable.

You will gain fat in a few months (or a year). That's uncomfortable.

Your body will age faster in a few years, and you might experience some health issues. That's uncomfortable.

You will gain more fat and have more health issues. That's even more uncomfortable.

Do you get my point?

We can consider the same approach to certain relationships. Many people in my network of acquaintances are in a 'burnt-out' relationship.

But they remain in that 'comfort'.

Because there's someone they can go home to. They fear being alone.

Or because they have someone who cooks for them. Or because they have been together for such a long time, they know everything about each other, which gives them a level of comfort they seem to enjoy.

Which might be true. For a while.

Years go by, and they get married and have children.

They reach a point where they realize that their 'burnt-out' relationship, which they didn't truly take care of, is irrevocably broken.

Their unhealthy comfort and fear prevailed over them. And now it all backfires. Their family will suffer the consequences.

Before you say anything, I don't imply that everyone should break up with their significant others when they have issues or are hitting bottom. Healthy relationships have conflicts. That's a healthy discomfort. And if two people resolve those, they come out stronger than ever - reaching the phase of the Growth Zone.

But if you avoid all other zones of the map (you've seen above) and just remain in the comfort zone in your relationship, you will suffer the consequences later on. Sooner or later.

5) Be Selective About What Others Advise On Discomfort

Steve Harvey, the well-known American TV show host, once said on his show that "rich people don't sleep 8 hours a day". You can watch that 1-minute video below:

Is it actually true? And is it fair to say that you won't be successful and achieve growth or fulfillment if you sleep 8 hours a day?

No. This is bullshit!

Of course: if you are a stock market trader based in Los Angeles, you should wake up early to get involved in trading on Wall Street.

Otherwise, it's bullshit.

But what do some successful people say about sleeping habits?

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos sleeps 8 hours a day. He's now the second wealthiest person on Earth. Oops.

There are more examples like him - other successful people who sleep a healthy amount of 7-8 hours. You can check it out here.

This is just an example that you should not listen to all the discomfort and "hustle culture" mantras you see, read and hear on the internet.

Claiming that sleeping less than 8 hours daily is key to wealth and success is wrong.

Just as quitting your job for something uncertain & unknown without any strong financial background (solid savings) and plans/scenarios in your head. Indeed, it can turn out well and become a great story one day. But being courageous, ambitious, and growthful doesn't mean you always need to be stupidly reckless.

Ambition, fulfillment, and growthful discomfort can still occur while being more considerate and healthy.

💡 My Weekly Recommendations 💡

Newsletters I Read Every Week

• Young Money - Jack writes inspirational & insightful posts on finance, career, and life. I learned a lot from his work, and was also a great motivation for me to start my own newsletter. 10/10 recommended!

• International Intrigue - A valuable newsletter on diplomacy & geopolitics delivered every weekday. Rather read this than all those shitty clickbait articles on mainstream media.

• Exec Sum - A daily newsletter on the major stories from the financial world. It's fun, entertaining, and informative. Better than those finance outlets with shitloads of ads.

• Snail Mail by Slow Growth - a weekly newsletter delivered every Monday by Matt D'Avella's team with great motivational content on productivity. It's not the usual productivity bullshit that you find everywhere else.

Some Pieces I Enjoyed This Week

• (This is for Hungarian-speaking readers. Sorry!) Balázs Simonyi, a filmmaker and ultra runner, wrote about his 42nd birthday gift to himself: running 420 km from Thermopylae to Sparta within a week. He only had a small running backpack and one pair of clothes. He had a spiritual, historical and cultural journey while running through that beautiful Greek landscape. It's a long-form blog post but definitely worth reading it!

• The guys from Yes Theory hiked to the Desolation Peak in the North Cascade Mountains in Washington, US to explore the "most isolated cabin in the world". Awesome video about the experience and - of course - the sweet result of discomfort. :)

• Pieter Levels' piece on "Why I’m unreachable and maybe you should be too". Pieter writes about why he doesn't open his DMs or list his email publicly and why he doesn't feel guilty about being "ignorant" about this. And why also shouldn't feel guilty about how you decide to spend your time.

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